June 24th, 2012
Hope-Haley’s Farewell Talk
Hey guys!
I’ve pictured this time in my life a lot the past two years. It’s a really exciting thing, going on a mission. Good for the heart.
I was inspired so much by Sister Durfee’s talk a few weeks ago on hope and overcoming challenges. As I was praying for the inspiration to know what to speak on, the subject of hope was a repeated theme in my mind.
I also want to share some personal experiences with you about why I’m serving a mission. I’ll start with that.
Firstly, I want you guys to know that I wouldn’t be standing here if it weren’t for my Dad. Because of him and mom, our family grew up as missionaries from a young age. From the plumber who came to fix our toilet to the neighbors next door, to the families he home taught in the ward, I had the chance to see so many people change. Many accepted the gospel and were baptized through the efforts of my family, particularly my dad. I know that I’ve been given the desire to share the Gospel through his efforts to share. I’ve seen what the Gospel of Jesus Christ has done for countless people; how can I not want to share it?
At the age of 18, I knew I wanted to serve a mission. I lived in excitement and anticipation as I watched my guy friends graduate high school and prepare for their missions. I was close with them. I knew they were about to embark on one of the most life-changing experiences of their life, and I was so happy for them and their decision to serve. What a blessing they would be to others, to the Lord!
My patriarchal blessed mentioned a mission as a possibility, but never a requirement. As my dad and I sat in the Provo baptistery waiting to do baptisms one day, we read through it. After reading the paragraph regarding my opportunity to serve, Dad turned to me and said, “You’ve got a free ride, Haley. Heavenly Father’s given you a free ticket for a mission.”
I thought back to that moment a few times, though it wasn’t until now that I understood it. With all of the wards we moved to, I had the chance to make lots of friends and go on dates. I had examples of great future fathers in my life in the guys I met, and I got close to a few of them. But none of them worked out in a relationship. I tried again and again. Looking back, I think Heavenly Father must’ve been laughing to watch me try so hard. In my heart, I knew why nothing was working out. I know He did too, though it took me awhile to figure it out! ;)
So the time came for me to put in my papers. Throughout the three years of anticipating this moment, my excitement never faded. I wanted so badly to serve people, and to tell them of the love that our Father in Heaven has for them-that they are a Child of God!
Those thoughts and desires were very prevalent on my mind as I prepared. I was trying to do all that I could, praying each night, reading from Preach My Gospel and the scriptures, praying for the people of my mission, my future companions, and for our efforts there. I had a lot of anxiousness as well, bubbling inside me. I guess that’s to be expected right?
But as much as I tried to keep them completely from my mind, doubts surfaced. Not about the Gospel, but about what I could be missing by leaving on a mission. Was this really the plan Heavenly Father wanted for me? What if something else was supposed to happen?
I found myself getting discouraged and frustrated. My weaknesses threatened me every day- not patient enough, not kind enough. I made mistakes more often, it seemed, and I hated seeing the hurt in my family, even the little hurt, because I wasn’t better.
The small things that irritated me grew 10 times out of proportion. I had good experiences too, but I had to fight my natural man hard each day. This is where the ‘hope’ portion came in to my life.
Elder M. Russell Ballard said, “To all who have harbored feelings of despair and an absence of hope, I offer the words of the Lord through the Prophet Joseph Smith:
“Fear not, little flock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail. …
“Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not” (D&C 6:34, 36)
I love these words. They express in such simple terms, what hope is. I think Heavenly Father is good at making one-liners that stick in your head.
There’s a story Elder Neal L. Andersen shared in our last general conference that hit me hard. It’s about the Saintelus family who lived in Haiti at the time of the earthquake in 2010. Their story is a touching experience in faith and hope. I’ll use Elder Andersen's words:
“Olgan was at work and Soline was at the church when a devastating earthquake struck Haiti. Their three children—Gancci, age five, Angie, age three, and Gansly, age one—were at home in their apartment with a friend.
Massive devastation was everywhere. As you will remember, tens of thousands lost their lives that January in Haiti. Olgan and Soline ran as fast as they could to their apartment to find the children. The three-story apartment building where the Saintelus family lived had collapsed.
The children had not escaped. No rescue efforts would be devoted to a building that was so completely destroyed.
Olgan and Soline Saintelus had both served full-time missions and had been married in the temple. They believed in the Savior and in His promises to them. Yet their hearts were broken. They wept uncontrollably.
Olgan told me that in his darkest hour he began to pray. “Heavenly Father, if it be thy will, if there could be just one of my children alive, please, please help us.” Over and over he walked around the building, praying for inspiration. The neighbors tried to comfort him and help him accept the loss of his children. Olgan continued to walk around the rubble of the collapsed building, hoping, praying. Then something quite miraculous happened. Olgan heard the almost inaudible cry of a baby. It was the cry of his baby.
For hours the neighbors frantically dug into the rubble, risking their own lives. In the dark of the night, through the piercing sounds of hammers and chisels, the rescue workers heard another sound. They stopped their pounding and listened. They couldn’t believe what they were hearing. It was the sound of a little child—and he was singing. Five-year-old Gancci later said that he knew his father would hear him if he sang. Under the weight of crushing concrete that would later result in the amputation of his arm, Gancci was singing his favorite song, “I Am a Child of God.”29
As the hours passed amid the darkness, death, and despair of so many other precious sons and daughters of God in Haiti, the Saintelus family had a miracle. Gancci, Angie, and Gansly were discovered alive under the flattened building.30“
Like Olgan and Soline Saintelus in the hours before their children were found, I knew Heavenly Father loved and had a plan for me. Like them, I could feel the assurance that He was aware of me and was with me.
But it wasn't easy for them! They could have given up. The chances of their children being alive under the crushed building were slim.
Like them, I know we all have moments, days, times when we feel as though we are drowning in discouragement. To this, Elder Russell M. Nelson said,
“…the real world in which we live is divided by diverse languages, cultures, and politics. Even the privileges of a democracy carry the burden of bickering in election campaigns. Contention is all about us. Ours is a pessimistic and cynical world—one that, to a great extent, has no hope in Jesus Christ nor in God’s plan for human happiness. Why [do we have] such global contention and gloom?”
“The reason is plain. If there is no hope in Christ, there is no recognition of a divine plan for the redemption of mankind. Without that knowledge, people mistakenly believe that existence today is followed by extinction tomorrow—that happiness and family associations are only ephemeral.”-Elder Russell M. Nelson
But we know different. The prophets and scriptures have testified, there is hope in Christ! As Moroni questioned, “What is it that ye shall hope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ.” Brother and Sister Saintelus exemplified their faith in Christ. They didn’t give up, let go, or walk away. They had hope in Him, whether or not their children were found.
Faith and hope are trusting in God. To have faith means to view His will as what is supposed to happen, and with time, what we can accept. It’s not easy, especially if the outcome isn’t what we wanted. After sharing this story, Elder Andersen continued,
“Miracles are not always so immediate. At times we thoughtfully wonder why the miracle we have so earnestly prayed for does not happen here and now. But as we trust in the Savior, promised miracles will occur. Whether in this life or the next, all will be made right. The Savior declares: “Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”
“In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”
Aren't the scriptures awesome? I feel like these verses were written just for me. We each can gain hope through Christ! As it says in Colassians 1:23
“… continue in the faith grounded and settled, and be not moved away from the hope of the gospel, which ye have heard…”
To continue the story, one Wednesday morning, Julie from the Mona Post office called me. She left me a message. My call was here! I was estatic! That night was filled with Just Dance with the kids and lots of butterfly feelings. I can't wait for those of you are anticipating your own call soon. It's incredible :)
When I read the words of my call letter to my family, I felt that joy, love and hope flow into me like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I wasn't doubting it anymore. I knew this was where the Lord needed me to be. I know it as I stand today. I knew it was the miracle that I needed in my life.
Like Elder Andersen gently reminded us, the same challenges still faced me after receiving my call, except for one thing. I no longer doubted. Despite my weaknesses, there was a sweet, quiet assurance that this was right.
I’m not totally prepared to serve the people of Korea. Excepting a few phrases and words, I don’t know the language. I don’t have a lot experience teaching people the Gospel from scratch. And I’m not sure I’ll like the super spicy food very much.
But I do know that Heavenly Father is the one who is guiding me. Who is guiding each of us. He gave us His only Begotten Son so that we could have hope in living with Them again. And this is the message He needs each of us to carry to the rest of the world.
While looking up the different aspects of hope that I could share with you, I came across a really touching experience shared by Elder M. Russell Ballard. It's a bit long, so brace yourself. ;)
“Recently I had the privilege of performing the temple sealing ordinances for a wonderful family. It was a beautiful occasion, as such ceremonies almost always are. But if you had known the father of this family several years earlier, you would have understood what a miracle was taking place in the House of the Lord that day. With his permission I quote from a letter he wrote to me:
“I was born into the Church and was taught the gospel at my mother’s knee. Through her diligence and perseverance, she kindled a small ember of testimony that never left me even through some of the roughest times of my life. In my teen years Satan hit me hard. It was during the late 1960s and early 1970s, a time of great turmoil, and Satan was hard at work on me. I was taken with the practice of free drugs, free love, free fun, and the rest of the world be damned. Beginning with my first drink of alcohol, I began to slowly deteriorate. After alcohol, other drugs were that much easier to use. In order to take drugs, you must become a good liar. You learn to do whatever it takes to conceal your behavior from others.
“After many years of living this way, all my moral fiber seemed to be completely eroded away. I had a minimal amount of conscience and had sunk to the depths of despair and depression. I watched friends die from drugs and suicide. As time passed, my friends and I were exposed to the criminal justice system. In fact, many of my former friends are still in prison. Had it not been for the small flicker of testimony instilled in me by my mother when I was a child, to know that Heavenly Father could still love me, I have reservations as to whether I would even be writing this letter today.”
Some parents might have given up hope on this prodigal son, but not this man’s mother. She continued to believe that he would find his way back to the teachings of his childhood and once again place his trust in the Lord Jesus Christ. With the loving support of his family and friends, that is exactly what he did. Let me read again from his letter:
“If there is one thing I have learned, it is that no matter how lost you feel, no matter how low you may have sunk, there can be forgiveness and peace. I learned that the further one drifts from the Lord, the harder it is to return to Him and His teachings. But once I opened my heart and called out in prayer to Heavenly Father to help me in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, I came to know the power of repentance and the blessings of obedience to God’s commandments.”
Elder Ballard went on to say,
“Brothers and sisters, I wish all of you could have been with us in the temple that day to feel the joy of hope fulfilled. I am sure you would have sensed, as I did, the rekindled love for God and the sublime happiness that filled the heart of my friend’s mother as her four sons, their companions, and other family members surrounded her in the sealing room.”-Elder Ballard
What a life-changing experience this man had. As I read it, I thought about Alma the Younger and his conversion. For three days and nights, he was tormented at the thought of entering God's presence as unclean as he was. He recounted to his son,
16 And now, for three days and for three nights was I racked, even with the apains of a bdamned soul.
17 And it came to pass that as I was thus aracked with torment, while I was bharrowed up by the cmemory of my many sins, behold, I dremembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world.
18 Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, ahave mercy on me, who am bin the cgall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting dchains of edeath.
19 And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my apains bno more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more.
20 And oh, what ajoy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!
21 Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.
Alma found Hope in Christ! Though his was a dramatic example of hope in the Atonement, it is a hope we are all seeking to find. Day by day, minute by minute, He is reaching out to us. We can find hope and faith in Christ.
Alma 22:14 states “And since man had afallen he could not bmerit anything of himself; but the sufferings and cdeath of Christ datone for their sins, through faith and repentance, and so forth; and that he breaketh the bands of death, that the egrave shall have no victory, and that the sting of death should be swallowed up in the hopes of glory...”
We cannot accomplish true confidence, optimism, and patient perseverance without hope in Christ. But we can accomplish everything with Him. Just as the scriptures and Elder Ballard testify, I know that there is nothing the Atonement of Jesus Christ cannot help us overcome.
The Blessings of Hope
Elder Neal L. Andersen closed one of his address with a beautiful and comforting quote.
“Wherever you now find yourself on the road of discipleship, you are on the right road, the road toward eternal life. Together we can lift and strengthen one another in the great and important days ahead. Whatever the difficulties confronting us, the weaknesses confining us, or the impossibilities surrounding us, let us have faith in the Son of God, who declared, “All things are possible to him that believeth.”25…
Elder Ballard adds, “As we put our faith and trust to work, hope is born. Hope grows out of faith and gives meaning and purpose to all that we do. It can even give us the peaceful assurance we need to live happily in a world that is ripe with iniquity, calamity, and injustice.
As the end of the Savior’s mortal ministry drew near, He offered this reassuring hope to His beloved disciples: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27.)”
I love the words of our Apostles today. They truly are the mouth piece of the Lord. They say what He wants us to know and do. Elder Russell M. Nelson, who always has a smile, said this:
“We can always have hope. Always! The Lord’s promise to us is certain: 'He that endureth in faith and doeth my will, the same shall overcome.' I repeat, there is always hope.”
Testimony
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