Fruits of the Spirit

I know that you all have heard a lot from me as is, but I couldn't help but want to share a quote that really hit me while reading the book "The Light Within" which Raymond so graciously allowed me to borrow.

“We can tell when the fruits of the Spirit are being manifest in our lives.

Brigham Young University professor Don Norton has written that when we have the Spirit, we feel calm and happy. We feel full of light. Our minds are clear. Our bosoms burn with love for the Lord and for others. We feel generous. No one can offend us. We are very forgiving and kind. We feel confident in what we do. We don’t mind anyone seeing what we are doing.

We feel outgoing and anxious to be with others (especially family members). We are glad for others when they succeed. We want to make others happy, even those opposed to us. We bring out the best and say the best about others. We gladly and willingly perform Church work. We want to pray and read the scriptures. We want to keep all the Lord’s commandments.

We feel we have control of our appetites and emotions. We have controlled speech and no anger. We feel a deep desire to help others-usually in a way no one else would know about. We speak and think only good about others. We feel sorrow when others have problems and sincerely desire to help them. We realize that our thoughts and our actions are open to God.”

Reading this quote made me realize how often I don't have the Spirit with me. Sure, I make mistakes, but I didn't know how much I needed the fruits of the Spirit to be with me as much as the Spirit himself. Does that make sense?

I could see how I was doing okay in some areas, and not-so-okay in others. One of the things was how 'we feel outgoing and anxious to be with others (especially family members).' I am anxious to be with others, that's just my nature. Other times, I love to be with my family; they are so entertaining!

But now I know that whenever I am trying to get away from them (like when I want to hurry and finish FHE so I can go Gazebo Singing) I don't have the Spirit to be with me. I don't want that. I love them lots, and I always want to have "His Spirit to be with me." If I don't that's like walking out into a battlefield with absolutely no armor on!

Phew, I'm so thankful for that book. And for all of the words of the Prophets. They really help keep you on track when you could be wandering.

Thank goodness that we have this Gospel and knowledge that we can repent of sins!

Thankful to Have Found Solid Ground Again

Whoo-weee...

My, life sure likes to throw you curve-balls! I know for sure that Heavenly Father has a sense of humor; William Bailey is right: He invented humor!

Thanksgiving break has been a good time for me to sort out some thoughts/feelings/ideas that have been unsorted for a few weeks now. I am very grateful for that fact alone!

First of all, thank you, friends, for allowing me to borrow your wonderful books on the doctrines of the Gospel. They've helped me find the truths amid all of those deceits that Satan has been throwing at me, and I couldn't be more grateful for them.

Second, I owe an apology to any of those whom I have neglected friendship-wise, due to focusing on things that were not as important. I'm so sorry if I've seemed distracted, or haven't been paying as close of attention to your needs as I normally do. I promise to get outside of myself more, and find out what I can do to help you in any way I can. I don't want our friendships to suffer because of poor choices on my own part.

Third, thank you all again, for being those amazing people that you are. A girl couldn't ask for better friends, and in this season for gratitude, this is one of the re-occurring things that I must thank the Lord for daily. : )

Fourth: Despite the craziness of life, I hope that you realize that I will always have time for you, personally. Prayers are so important if you are ever struggling with a situation (trust me, I've learned of that blessing for myself) but sometimes a physical person is just needed. If you ever do require a friend to talk to, or maybe just vent some pent-up emotion, please know that you can always turn to me.

Finally, I've found my place again. "The stars have aligned themselves" and I have repositioned myself on what is really important. Thought I will still make mistakes, I know that being perfect is something that happens only with the help of my Savior. He knows exactly how I'm feeling, and I don't ever need to be afraid of Eternal Truth that He shares with me through personal revalation.

Please, if you are struggling with something, don't ever be afraid to turn to your Father in Heaven. At first, with my problem, I was. I knew that I probably wouldn't get the answer that I'd wanted, and so I didn't turn to Him with my struggles. If you are ever tempted to, please don't do what I did; it creates only pain for yourself and others.

Because He understands and knows you better than you know yourself, He also realizes what you need to do to change and fix your situation. He can change your heart, if you only let Him!

A broken heart and a contrite spirit remind me of breaking-in a horse. To be 'broken' means that you are giving the reins of your life over to the Lord, and you are saying "Take my life where you will, Lord, and I will follow obediently."
He really will bring you the most happiness, and He can make so much more out of your life than you can. This is something that took me awhile to figure out, but I finally did. Learn from my experience and live your life the happiest way you can!

I'm sure you are all perfect, and don't really need any of the above advice, but I just wanted to share what helped me through a tougher time in my life. It really has!

Thank you again, all, for understanding and accepting me just the way I am!

May blessings be showered upon you!

Random Thoughts

Here are just some prominent thoughts that have been wandering about my consciousness for a little while that I would like to share.

-"Thoroughly Modern Millie" has been showing at our high school. I would recommend that all of you check it out; it's actually quite entertaining. =)
-A can of black spray paint
-Nertz!
-College; maybe I'm not meant to go...
-Velcro, and cheering crowds
-Finding out what is really important to me
-Laughter; how much I love it!
-Christmas music and Christmas trees
-The looming GED...
-What a weirdie I am sometimes
-Dishes at Hogi Yogi/Visitors late at night (at Hogi Yogi!)
-Talking to Denver
-Mom's Veteran's Day movie project....how well it's going....
-Crowds of people, but always a friendly face
-What my dad said about this day and age: Economy, preparation, following the Prophets, staying on the Lord's side of the line, and 'be not moved.'
-"You can think the grill is clean, but you don't really know until you run your hand across it. When it's smooth, then you know you've done it right."
-Saying 'hi' in the halls
-Finding out what the Lord wants for me, and changing my heart to match
-Astronomy Exam....ooh...
-A smile from one person
-Talking in the Seminary Building (best place to do stuff like that.)
-Digging deeper than I've ever done before
-Chasing Takoda until both of us are laughing, but with nice bruises as well! ;)
-Turning off lights, locking doors, watching power go out, conserving energy
-Remembering that our experience now is helping us to be humble before the Lord, and if we humble ourselves completely to His will, He will guide and help us.
-My Dad's Spirit of Discernment, and how happy it made me Sunday night
-Gratitude for friends who get together and sing!
-Hearts can change. Oh how grateful I am that hearts can change!

So that's basically the stuff that's been floating around in that thing up there I call my brain.
As one of my adorable friends commonly writes:

Cheerio!

The Greatest Blessing of All

Over the past few weeks, I've been wondering about some things. This wondering has been beneficial in some ways, but more often in a degradational manner. I have made a mistake in the choosing of what I am doing with my time. (Once again, my weakness at over-analyzing things. Heavenly Father must laugh at how complicated I make my life, sometimes, when it really could be so simple!) For this, I am so thankful that I have the Atonement and repentance process in my life. Imagine, all of those things that I cringe to think about, gone from Heavenly Father's memory, forever.

What a wonderful gift!!

A good friend lent to me his copy of a short book entitled "Believing Christ." It is helping me to understand so much better this awe-inspiring sacrifice for me, though I know that I can never, nor expect to, comprehend it in it's entirely. What would I be without it? Lost, alone, and with no hope of ever returning to my Father in Heaven. My sins would weigh my concience down, never allowing me to look toward my future with any degree of hope.

It's a wonderful thing, this Plan of Happiness. Just knowing this makes me want to share it with so many others who are unaware that they can be happy now. They can rejoice, not in their own imperfections, but in Christ perfections. Once we become one with Him, as He and His father are, we can become like Him, and He will help us make up for that '99.9%' which we lack.
Oh goodness. I wish I could shout it on a mountian-top, how glorious is our God! How wondeful, almighty, and all-seeing He is, how perfect He is, and yet, how very much He loves each of us dispite our imperfections.

Can you even imagine a better Father?

Lessons

"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."
-Elbert Hubbard

Oooh. First thought: That's me. Pure and simple. That quote up there? Yup.
And how long has it taken me to realize this? Apparently, too long. But hey, I'm starting to comprehend it now at least!

Everyone makes mistakes. They are somewhat unavoidable, and therefore easy to make.
You know something? I worry. A lot. About little, tiny things that I probably don't need to worry about. My friends have told me this, a number of times, in a number of ways. So I got to talk to my awesome mother the other night about my problem. We discussed situations and such, and diagnosed me:

Overly analytical.

That's one of my main weaknesses. But the cool thing is, now that I know what it is, I can realize how to better work on it!
To help me, if you see me looking at the tiny details, so much so that I am missing out on the more important big picture, just tap me on the shoulder and let me know.
I want to be better. I want to do better. I would really like to be perfect, (wouldn't that be so nice?)
But, as one of my good friends wrote: "You don't have to be perfect to be wonderful."

I can do all things which I can do. I should not expect to be perfect in this life. I fall way too short of that mark so often, it's easy to get discouraged. But then I remember the words of my Savior,
"Come unto me, all ye that labour, and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."
He makes up for all that I cannot. He knows how I feel. He prayed for me in Gethsemane, and died for me at Calvary's hill. If there's anyone who understands me, even better than I understand myself, it is Jesus Christ.

What a light! What a hope! How can I remain sorrowful in my sins, when I have such an amazing blessing in His great Atonement? Sometimes I feel like Nephi, shouting praise in his psalm in 2 Nephi chapter 4. Exactly like that.

In the words of one of my most favorite songs: "How can I keep from singing?"

My Forever Gift

I am...

like a tree
Blowing in the wind,
Colored leaves falling fast

How do I choose
To give away
That which I pray will last?

So many people
Friends,
Family,
They are Wind

They want them;
They want a part of me

My leaves
Blowing
Can I hold them?
Can I let them go?

Pluck them, if they choose
One
by
one

‘Til at last,
I am no more

My trunk bare,
Nothing to show
Broken, empty, alone

And yet…
I am not like a tree,
I am not like a tree

I am like…

a Fountain
Bursting, pure, cool water
Flowing
Ever onward

Come! Take from my pool
Take from my water

I give freely, I give all

All that I am
All that I hope to be
Come

Take me
Take more than me
Take what I can give, then let me give again

Let me give again

My water never ceases
My love never stops its flow

Take,
Take it,
Take that part of me
And grow

Mud

Anyone with a family larger than four kids, with a few of them younger, knows and understands the challenges of getting everyone completely ready for church every week. That means 100% for guys: shoes, MATCHING socks, pants that do not have holes or stains, a good white shirt that fits their body, a tie, and optionally a vest or jacket if it's cold.
For the ladies: a modest dress, (that means not above the knees even if you're only five,) good shoes, hair done decently, (or at least up and out of your face if you are that five-year-old,) and possibly tights.

Now, the problem: No matter how much you plan in advance, setting out clothing, etc., somehow there will always be an issue with finding some sort of article of clothing or other.

My case, this Sunday, was a better day than most for getting everything together. I was actually quite proud of how efficiently and accurately we were clothed. I even dared hope that we just might make it to church that way.

Of course, life doesn't always plan out the way you do. ;)

It had rained that day. Beautifully overcast outside, making me quite happy inside, but also happy to be in, period. Unfortunately, my younger siblings did not share my enthusiasm for being stuck indoors. So when Tyson came in and told me that I had a present waiting for me on our back porch, I went, knowing by the tone in his voice that it was not such a good present.

Elias, only two, had gone dancing in the mud. His shoes were covered; I could not even tell their original color. He was wearing his full, miniature Sunday suit, but only a few spots of mud covered that. Hair awry, he look innocently up at me (I really don't like it when they do that) and grinned his ears off. I just sighed, shook my head, and laughed.

After he was cleaned up, the time flew by quickly, and it was soon time for everyone to get loaded into the stretch. I was finishing something us in the Atrium (human-greenhouse-room) when I heard Sierra give a sharp intake of breath. Somehow, I sensed that this, too, was not a good thing.

Glancing outside, I watched as two, red-faced children dressed in their Sunday best, tried to lift their tiny legs out of the muck they were firmly planted in. This time, my dad was watching too.
I looked at Sierra.

"Boots," I thought.

She understood, and quickly went out to fetch the now-wailing children as they struggled to escape. After fighting them up the stairs, she deposited them on the back step, then removed her boots and scampered quickly away. With both of them crying dramatically, I only grabbed the nearest offender and hauled him (Elias, again) off to our kitchen sink.
Eventually, we removed all of the grime from each article of clothing, or had replaced it with a new one. Both pairs of shoes were soaking, but wear them, they did.

One thing I will never forget from that experience. I remember how my dad got uptight, because he did not want to be late to church. And I remembered how I was, at first, stressed about it as well. But then Elder Wirthlin's (I love that man) talk popped into my head. He'd said some thing to the effect of, 'when you feel most tempted to groan, laugh instead.' So I did!

I think I've learned to laugh so much more.

I really do.

And I'm so grateful for mud, and that God has a great sense of humor.=D

Last Thought of the Night Becomes Your Dream

Have you ever woken up from a good night's sleep panting? Or shaking? Or with a huge amount of relief that whatever you were dreaming about was not actually true?

I have.

Just last night, I had the most random dream. It was the kind that you wake up and are very grateful that it was only a dream. I think it was because I was eating something before bed, (that sometimes will do it to you,) and the fact that I was talking to my mother about some stuff that happened when she was in high school, and repeated itself in my dream.

Phew! Some social situations are simply not desired whatsoever...

Anyway, on Halloween, I found out that while I am not good at bowling, I particualy enjoy it! I think that if I'd concentrated, and maybe believed in myself more, I could have done better than I did. As it was, I was the second-to-last place, (I think I'd do better at golfing! =) But our team won no matter. Yay!
The best part was, though, that I was hanging out with some very awesome friends all night. They did get a little violent at some points, (my poor brother bit off more than he could chew,) and I found out that Eric and Logan really do share a brain; they tied trying to wrestle each other. =D

Happy November!

November Days

Oooh....I'm so excited!

I wanted to post on the very first day of Novemeber, just so that I could say that I did.
Isn't it such a good month? You got fall, beautiful leaves changing, pumpkins, squash, capricorns, gorgeous warm colors everywhere, Thanksgiving, of course, (what would be be without our food?) and just an all-around excitement that Christmas is getting one month closer. It helps me to remember to keep the spirit of giving I feel during that season with me all year.

What's your favorite season? I don't think I could decide on only one, but fall comes pretty close to being number one!

So I have another thought, but it is off-topic for November, so I will post this one and write another.
Bwahahaha! :)